Mortified in Medicare

With all the arrogance of the childless, I took my nephews (4 & 3yrs) to Medicare with me yesterday. By choice.

As soon as we got in, the two excited but generally fairly quiet boys went bananas. Those red cushioned seats they have at Medicare? Awesome for climbing over and chasing each other. Apparently the altitude on their climbing adventures rendered them temporarily deaf to my pleas that they just sit and play with my iPhone.

After only ten or so minutes of 3 different tellers playing Solitaire (I assume this is what they were doing, as they had no customers in front of them), my number was called. I called the boys over and handed my paperwork to the teller, and they took the opportunity to start running around the waiting room screaming.

I caught the 3 year old, told him to sit on the floor. He did - probably because I bribed him with an icecream if he behaved.

I caught the 4 year old, who refused to sit on the floor, he wanted to sit in the trolley. No prob. I scoop him up, he takes a deep breath, so as to assure maximum volume, and yells,

'NO! DON'T TOUCH MY PENIS!'

Mortified.

The silence in the room was broken by what I can only describe as a collective snort, as approximately 20 people tried to stifle their laughs.

To top it all off? I didn't even get any money back. I was given a form and told to fill it out and bring it back to the counter, but do you think I was gonna stick around after all that?!